Dear Parents Who Do Too Much,

You know who you are… you buy your kids the things they need (all the way until they’re adults… woah), you allow them to live in your house until and past the age of 18, and you do your best to support them and help them be successful with whatever they want to do in life. You devote your life to bettering your children’s lives, and honestly you catch a lot of flack in today’s world… you’re probably used to being shamed by those who charge their 18-year-old barely-out-of-high-school adult child rent and this who have no idea what their child will do about college, but hey, they’ll figure it out! (right? hopefully???)

You’re told by the world, your friends and even some of your family that you’re babying your kids… that by ensuring their future you’re somehow ruining them. You’re told that you aren’t teaching them anything by buying them food and assisting with college and guiding them along the way. You’re told that your kid won’t ever be successful – that they won’t go anywhere in life – because they’re used to having everything done for them; obviously, they can’t be successful because they have had a strong support system behind them their entire life.

But that’s not how you see it is it?

You’re helping your kid. You’re teaching them the ins-and-outs of the world. You’re showing them the way, and you’re building them up so that someday soon they’ll be able to take it all on by themselves. You’re doing what you’ve been taught to do. You’re doing what you expected to do all those years ago when you first realized you were about to be in charge of another human’s life. You’re parenting in the way you see best fit, but because you’re not pushing your child out into the world and hoping that maybe they’ll fly, you’re doing it wrong.

Well, I just think that’s crazy.

There is no “right way” or “wrong way” to parent (okay, well, there probably is a wrong way… but we won’t get into that right now.) It isn’t up to another person to tell you that by providing for your child, you’re doing it wrong. Parents are meant to love and care for and support their children. Parents are meant to be your guide, your extra set of hands when you’re overwhelmed, your constant shoulder to lean on and ear to listen.

So, from a child of parents who do “too much”… who understands the value of money, who understands what it means to be on your own but doesn’t have to be, who’s still learning even at this ripe age of 18… thank you. Thank you for being who you are and doing what you do. You’re really great, and please don’t ever change.

With much love and gratitude,

Samantha