I just recently celebrated my 19th birthday with all my family and friends. It was one for the books, and it got me thinking… 19 years is a long time. In the first couple decades of your life, you learn some of the most important things you will ever know. Aside from the obvious walking and talking stuff (not to discount the importance of talking because that is definitely my favorite) there are some serious lessons you learn in these years as you move to an almost entirely new stage of life just every few years. So I’ve made a list (a much, much shorter list than the one I started with…) of the most important things I’ve learned in these first 19 years… here’s to hoping they help with the next 19!

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1. Your value cannot be touched. Seriously. The moment you were created, you were given worth that is immeasurable. Nothing anyone says can even come close to diminishing that. You are important, loved and wanted. Remember that.

2. It’s essential to have your heart broken at least once. It sucks. It really does. It feels like someone took everything you are and ripped it into a thousand pieces. But the lessons you learn from a completely broken heart are what shape you for the love that is meant to last forever.

3. Sometimes you’ve gotta laugh until you cry, other times you’ve just gotta cry. Life is hard. Sometimes the best medicine to a burdened heart is a good, long laugh. The kind that makes tears stream down your face and convinces you your abs are finally coming in. Other times, the one thing you need is to take a few minutes for yourself and let the tears flow for an entirely different reason. Either way, a good cry can usually make you feel at least a little better. And that is perfectly okay. (yes boys, even you.)

4. Take pictures of everything. Seriously, everything. Take a picture of your friend across the table on your coffee date. Take a picture of the sunset that God put a whole lot of work into at the end of the day. Take a picture when it’s 2 a.m. and your friends just had to make that Waffle House run. Take a picture whenever the heck you feel like, even especially when you’re not feeling camera ready… those memories are usually the best.

5. Journaling rocks. Sometimes you don’t even really understand what/how you’re feeling until you lay it all out in front of you. Be raw and real; be vulnerable with your pen and paper. Write it down when you’re about to explode from pure joy and when you’re crumpling under the pressure of life, and do it often.

6. Don’t be afraid to break someone’s heart. If you’re unhappy… If you know they’re not the one… If something inside you can just feel that it isn’t right. Don’t be scared to let them go just because it means you’re going to leave them hurting. In all honesty, it’s hurts someone far more (and makes you feel a whole lot worse) to waste their time hanging on to nothing than to have one awkward conversation, a few sad weeks, and eventually move on to something so much better. Odds are, if you’re thinking you should break up, you probably should.

7. Never assume people don’t want to be your friend. Be friendly. Say hi. Wave at a stranger, smile at the new kid. Whatever you do, never jump to conclusions that someone isn’t friendly or doesn’t like you. Reach out to people… usually, that’s all anyone’s waiting for. Be that friendly face, the one who walks into a room and never meets a stranger. Do good, love people.

8. Do what you love just for the sake of doing it, who cares if no one’s watching? Doing things solely for the sake of other people being proud of you is 100% exhausting and unfulfilling. Do what you love just because you love doing it. Dance around your room because you’ve got a whole lot of energy and it feels so good to let it out. Blog because you’ve got a lot of words to say and you’ve run out of people to talk to. Sing because the sun is shining and the Lord woke you up today. Whatever it is, do it and never apologize for your talents or your joy.

9. Actively search for what brings you the most joy // find what drives your passion. You were created to lead a joyful life. You were created with the ability to have passions that are strong enough to take you across the state/country/world if that’s what you want. So don’t be afraid to want more. Don’t be afraid to look deeper for what floods your heart and lights a fire in your eyes. Spend time searching, trying, falling down, getting up and finding what you’re looking for. Seek joy. Seek passion. Find your “thing” and do it.

10. Fall in the arms of Jesus Christ, he’s a far better leader than anyone you could ever vote for. If I’ve learned anything in these 19 years it’s that there is nothing worth doing that I can do alone. Every challenge I’ve conquered I conquered through Christ. Every success I’ve achieved I achieved through Christ. Every breath I’ve taken was given to me by the One who put the stars in the sky. When you’re lost, look to Jesus. I can assure you he is much more reliable than anyone sporting a bad hairdo or looking to be the first woman president.

11. Stop being worried that someone will think you’re weird. We’re all weird, get used to it. Odds are that you are not exactly like any other person on this planet, and I hope you realize that is something to be celebrated. All the things you do that make you different… all of your little “isms”… the things you laugh about, talk about and get excited about are what make you, you. So embrace the weird, it’s more fun anyways.

12. Soak up carefree moments in the car with your best friend, blaring your favorite songs. They’re perfect and fleeting. Really, just take in the moments when you look around and realize you wouldn’t change a thing. The reality is that everything changes eventually… you grow up, you move away, you get busy… but there will always be those moments you can look back on (and look forward to doing again) that remind you of a day/minute/second when things were exactly the way they were meant to be.

13. Take care of the body you have, even if it’s not put together exactly the way you’d like. It’s annoying to know that at times your own body, the one thing you should be able to depend on to get you through the day, can also be the one thing that gets in your way. But at the end of the day, it’s the only body you have and it’s made to last a lifetime, so put into it what you want to get out of it.

14. Do the things that make you look silly. They’re always more fun. Run around in the pouring rain, jump in all the puddles. Make your funniest face, and take that cheesy picture. Laugh hard and always out loud… Never think twice about what someone may think. Enjoy your life in its fullness, and be okay with embrace the silliness that comes along.

15. Tell the people you love that you love them without hesitation. They want to hear it. I don’t think anyone in the world gets mad hearing that they’re loved. So tell people often. Tell them even if you think maybe it would be weird to say. Tell them when they’re having a bad day. Tell them when you’re having a bad day. Tell people all the time because if we’re lacking anything in this world it isn’t the presence of love but the acknowledgement of it.

16. Don’t leave anyone wondering how you feel about them. Life is too short to live in uncertainty. No one deserves to be strung along. If you like them, tell them. If you don’t like them, tell them too. In all honesty, no matter who you are, you aren’t great enough for someone to waste their life chasing, so for goodness sake just tell them.

17. Don’t be afraid to remove people from your life who don’t deserve to be a part of it. You don’t owe time to anyone. If it’s time for someone to see their way out, that’s your call to make. The people you don’t want in your life don’t get to just stick around because they’re angry or disagree with you. If you want them gone, they should respect that and you shouldn’t think twice.

18. Don’t listen when people say your childhood best friend won’t be your best friend forever. Seriously. Put raw, genuine effort into friendships… throw in a handful of inside jokes and a couple mutual caffeine addictions… and you’ve always got a shot at making it work. Lifelong friends can come at any stage of life, and just because at age 5 you couldn’t decide between the pink or purple backpack, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t decide on a high quality friend. It happens, and how sweet it is to grow up with the one who’s been there through it all.

19. Community is key. You were meant to be with other people. To laugh with, cry with and just exist with other people. Find the ones who feed your soul. The ones who give you joy not the ones who take it. Find the ones you can be 100% yourself around and they’re right there beside you, no matter how weird it gets. Find the ones who want you around not only when life is going right, but when everything comes crashing down. Find the ones who are willing to help you rebuild, not walk away until the job is finished.

*Bonus* Get excited. Don’t be a downer. Don’t just get through the day. Get pumped about what’s ahead of you, it is far more fun to go through life looking like a kid on Christmas morning